Collaborative Paragraphs in Resp

Collaborative Paragraphs in Response to Prompts about "The Ways we Lie"

1. Lacey Popkin, Marissa Guy, and ? “When someone lies, someone loses.” (page 175) Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

When someone lies, someone that is innocent can get into trouble. In some cases, the innocent person would take the blame because they don’t have the guts to confess that they weren’t the ones to do it in the first place. When someone else lies the person that has to deal with the problem has to take more time out of their lives to fix the problem that they caused. When someone lies trust is lost within their relationship with the other people involved.

2. Taylor Diaddigo, Emily Herrick, Jake Souers 11-13-09 Our group chose number 4. “When someone lies, someone loses.” We all agree with this statement. We believe that lying is to better yourself and for your own advantage. But in order to lie we really are choosing to disobey someone’s trust that we might have with them. Lying always has consequences. Either for the person that you are lying to or who is lying themselves, guilt will always feel take the better of them. No one’s memory is good enough to remember every lie that they told and who they told the lie to. So when you lie to someone and it is brought back up by someone, you are always going to lose in the end. Lying can lead to worse things. Lying is like digging yourself into a hole. One lie leads to another and then another, and eventually you will be in a hole so deep that you cannot get out. We as a group feel that it is better to just stick with the truth because that way you can never lose.

3. Julie Scott and ?

“The Ways We Lie” by Stephanie Ericsson

“When someone lies, someone loses”

•We agree with this statement because we believe that it hurts when you are lied to more than when you are told the truth.

•“Fake” compliments, that are actually lies can hurt the other person self esteem.

•Even if the truth is bad, you still want to hear it. No one wants to be lied to.

•Whenever you lie, and people find out that you lie, people will judge you and look at you differently.

•Whenever people find out that you have lied, they wont trust you anymore.

•People don’t want to be surrounded or associated with liars.

•Telling a lie can actually come back and hurt you, because no one will be able to trust you, or build a truthful relationship with you.

•Friendships and relationships are based on trust, so without that trust, you can’t have that strong relationships, and even if you are still friends, there will probably be a lot of fighting

We agree with the statement “When someone lies, someone loses,” because we believe that it hurts when you are lied to, more so than if you are actually told the truth. The “fake” compliments such as “You look good today” when the person actually thinks you look horrible can hurt more than being told the truth; because when see that you do look bad, and know that the person lied to you, it can lower your self esteem. Even if the truth is bad, and not what you want to hear, people would much rather be told the truth than to be lied to.

Whenever other people find out that you have lied, they probably look at you differently and judge you; you lost in the lying game. We all know people who have told lies, even us ourselves, and everyone knows how it feels to tell a lie and come back to hurt you yourself. Most people in our society don’t want to be associated with liars and liars will not be able to build relationships with other people because no one will be able to trust them. Friendships and relationships are built on trust, so without that trust, you can’t have strong relationships, and even if you are still friends, there will probably be a lot of fighting.

4. Lauren Mough and Courtney Kaelin

Small Group Activity – The Ways We Lie

November 13, 2009

“When someone lies, someone loses.” (page 175) Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

We both agree with this statement. Thievery is one of the worst sins and when you lie to someone, you are stealing his right to the truth. You take from him the information that he is supposed to know. In this way, the person loses. If the lie is well-fabricated, it can keep the truth from the person in question until the liar decides to expose what is true. You also cheat yourself on your own right to be honest. That’s deceiving.

White lies are somewhat different. For example, when parents pretend that Santa Claus exists and brings presents each and every Christmas by stuffing himself down a chimney, they don’t intend to be harmful. The intention isn’t to be malicious. The tradition has been set for years in order to create a sense of magic around the holidays – who can resist the appeal of eight (or nine) flying reindeer and a fat, jolly man? – and the truth is always revealed once the child has aged. We tell white lies because we want to protect people, in this case children, of the reality of the world. The child will eventually know the truth once he or she is old enough to understand.

5. “When someone lies, someone loses” (page175) Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

Ryan Cunningham, Gaven Casteel, Leann Matthews

White Lies generally are used to make someone feel better

No one really loses

Facades are unintentional lying

Shouldn’t be looked upon negatively

Shouldn’t judge a book by a cover

White lies don’t always make someone a loser, in fact they sometimes help people feel better about themselves and even though it may be a false feeling of happiness it doesn’t make that person feel like crap. If someone told me I didn’t look like I rolled out of bed and went to class today, even though I was in sweatpants, I would feel better about my decision to wear sweatpants, and it’s a win-win situation. Facades also don’t make someone a loser because everyone acts differently in different situations. A person’s environment determines most of their actions and people don’t always realize they’re putting up a façade. Even if a person looks differently than they usually do, it shouldn’t be considered a lie and it also doesn’t harm anyone.

6. Daniel Hoffer Alex Fisher November 13, 2009 Gender and Lying: who feels more guilty, men or women, and why? We feel that when telling a lie girls feel guiltier than guys. Girls think more with their hearts than guys. Not that guys don’t feel that a lie is bad. Girls tend to consider their emotions more. Girls seem to lie more than guys. They gossip, spread rumors, and deal with drama a lot more than guys. Girls want to make themselves feel better, sometimes that means they need to lie to either themselves or other people. Everyone lies no matter the gender. Rather than gender filling guiltier it can also deal with the person’s morals and personality.

7. Ryan Krause

Alex Ott

“When someone lies, someone loses”

When someone lies, it can have drastic effects on the person they are lying to. Sometimes it can have more serious of an effect, depending on the scale of what you are lying about. For example, if you are lying about Pokémon cards, and say you got a better card then you really had, it’s not that big of a deal. On the other hand, if you are lying about having an affair, that’s pretty huge. I remember one time, whenever I was in Georgia at my sister’s cheerleading competition, and her teammate was a very compulsive liar. In order for him to gain acceptance among the others, he felt he had to pull a lie out of his rear end every time he opened his mouth. So many people did not believe him after a while, he had that “Boy who cried Wolf” affect. It always seems that when you tell the truth from the beginning, the conversation may end quicker, but the fights that could have started, have been suppressed. Lying doesn’t do anyone any good, it is always better that you get the truth out and take the pain instead of making a huge ordeal.

8.Brittany DeMarchi Rachel O’Keefe We define honesty as someone telling the bottom line truth. If someone would just tell all the details about a topic or subject without including any false information. No opinions are included or stretching the truth just the bottom line facts are the truth. Even if you are hurting a friend, the truth is always better, complete honesty is always better. Like the saying goes, the truth always hurts, but finding out the truth later after a lie is worse than finding out the truth in the beginning. Even the person who tells the lie feels horrible, having the lie hanging over their head until the come out with the truth. “Honesty is the best policy” is a phrase that we should all live by. Honesty would be the best route to go when talking with someone. Even if telling the truth would hurt the other person in the long run, it is better to just tell the truth in the beginning. Lying could come back and hurt both of you in the end.

9. Ryan Brown Keith Pentland Partner Discussion 11/13/09 “When does one’s conscience kick in?” Your conscience kicks in whenever you have done something wrong, it’s like a mental review after we have done something. Everybody’s is different because we all have different values that we believe in. These values are instilled in us at an early age by our parents and mentors that have an impact on our lives. In most cases, somebody’s conscience doesn’t kick in until after they have done something wrong, and they’re conscience determines the degree of guilt that they feel. You can get a good judgment of somebody from the way their conscience dictates their actions. We also use our conscience when we do something good. We know that what we have done is morally correct when our conscience knows that it is. It helps us to determine when something is right or wrong.

10. Nicole Rybar

Weston Parrett

When does ones conscience kick in?

We believe that not many people consider the consequence of lying at the time, but after the fact people begin to realize that they feel guilty. Most of the time, the conscience kicks in after the liar sees how the lie affected its target. A lot of people tell small lies and don’t see anything wrong until it adversely affects the other person. Also, we believe that how you are brought up and what type of family you have plays a huge role in when your conscience kicks in. If someone is raised to be a compulsive fibber, their conscience will rarely kick in. Parents that never tell their children that they are wrong will find that they have a dishonest child because he doesn’t know any better. A person who is raised in an honest, firm household will be less inclined to lie in the first place. I know that we both agreed that our upbringing contributed to how we think even before lying. You stop yourself and think about how the lie will affect someone. We both agree that depending on the person, the conscience will kick in at varying times, if at all.

11. Elizabeth Davis Alex Sutton “When does one’s conscious kick in”? Sometimes you can’t realize that you’re lying, it comes almost natural to lie because it’s easier than explaining the truth. A constant liar doesn’t have a conscious of lying because it has let them get away with so much that it’s almost addicting to them now. White lies are something that many of us do because they aren’t seen as a big deal while other lies such as lying about yourself to fool others is seen to be a serious issue for many people who do it. They just don’t care about their conscious even though they probably know they’re lying they don’t care about the people they are hurting around them. Though for some people, lying comes with consequences. People who aren’t good liars, their conscious kicks in when they get either caught up in a lie or realize they can’t lie about the certain situation. Based off different relations with people and situations involving them we lie to hide simple faults in people unless the situation is something important and needed to be said whether it hurts the person or not.

12. Lesley Shaver Casey Zyniewicz 11-13-09 “When someone lies, someone loses” (175) When it comes to friendship lying can cause it to fall apart. Lying constantly causes you to not believe your friend anymore and starts to tear the two of you apart. When it comes to relationships honesty is very important. If your partner is continuously lying to you the relationship is not likely to last. You have to have trust in your partner or what good is the relationship. Some people feel that the truth hurts so by lying they are saving you the pain, but I disagree. It’s better to hear the truth and be hurt then be told a lie and feel content when you will most likely find out later on anyways. For example, in a relationship, if you are not being faithful to your partner, that is considered a lie. In the end it always seems to result bad anyways so why do people feel the need to lie about it? Everyone tells little white lies, but sometimes lies can go too far.

13. November 13, 2009 Diyana Milligan Kelly Randza Group activity • When does ones conscience kick in? When a lie is told there is no going back. The liar’s conscience begins to kick in, but the question is when. It can kick in at any point, for example when they realize that they can no longer keep the lie going and continue with the lie, and also when they see that the lie is hurting the one they lie to. Another time when the conscience can kick in when others catch you in your lie and pressure you in to telling the truth and make you feel bad for lying in the first place, an example would be from a detective and suspect point of view. When a suspect lies to the detective in an attempt to get away from punishment, the detectives knows that the suspect is lying and pressures and persuades him to tell the truth. No matter what the truth will always come out, but only after the liar grows a conscience.

14. Ryan Krause

Alex Ott

“When someone lies, someone loses”

15. We have decided that lying is not always such a horrible thing. Depending on what is going on; if you have a car wreck and you lie about it than you could get into some huge trouble. But if you lie about that you got a new pen then that is not such a big deal. So lying has multi levels and each one is very much different than the last. You could have a serial killer lying; that is a huge deal. Then back to the pen idea. So it all depends on what you are doing and how you are thinking about it.

16. Tanisha Wilson, Morgan Difenderfer, Julie Headley

Group Activity: Gender and Lying

November 13, 2009

We have concluded that women feel often tend to feel guiltier than men. This is true because women are more compassionate. There are several factors that contribute to lying and this affects the situation as well. Women tend to hold a grudge and talk about it, while in men, they get upset about it, and then most forget about it. Women have a hard time letting lies go. We have concluded that men lie about things that women really wouldn’t get upset about or things that don’t matter. For example, a guy says he is going to his parents house, but he really goes to his buddy’s house. When women lie, we tend to lie to “spare” someone’s feelings. Women tend to feel guilty because we are more emotional, and when the man gets caught he tends to fight about it and refuse he is lying when he obviously is.

17. Whitney Cornell Michael Bowser When lying, someone’s conscience doesn’t always kick in. It depends how malicious the lie is, and depends on the person. Some people wouldn’t feel guilty about lying about something small, whereas others feel guilty over any lie, no matter what it was about. The majority of people wouldn’t feel guilty about a white lie, which is a small lie just to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. Sometimes people don’t even realize they are lying, because it is over something so trivial. The people that feel guilty over their lies sometimes end up confessing. They feel the need to tell the truth because the lie is constantly on their mind, haunting them. They feel as if they deceived the other person, and they want to come clean so they can stop thinking about it. Other people don’t have a conscience at all, no matter how severe the lie was. Some people would never admit that they were wrong, no matter what. Sometimes people can be so oblivious to the fact that everyone knows the truth, and they still keep their story the same. They could be caught right in the act, and they still choose to lie, or even add more to the lie. They would keep making up details to their lie, making it even deeper. Basically, everyone is different when it comes to lying and having a conscience. Some people can’t deal with having lies on their mind, some people can deal with it if the lie wasn’t hurting anyone, and others never feel guilty when they lie.

18. Donna Hranica & Caleb Feigles

Dr. Masiello

When does one’s conscience decide to kick in? We both agreed that after one lies successfully and is in “the clear,” one’s conscience actually kicks in. Once you get away with it you begin thinking about how your lie is now affecting others, rather than how you getting away with it benefits you. We also agreed that, depending on the outcome of the lie, everyone’s conscience affects them differently. For instance, those who do not get away with their lie find themselves beating themselves up about it later because their conscience is harsher than the consequence of getting caught in a lie.

Another big factor in determining how one’s conscience affects their future is who they are lying to. A good example of this is the difference between lying to one’s parents and lying to one’s teacher. The liar is more concerned about disappointing his or her parents by lying rather than receiving punishment from a professor. Depending on the lie, and if you get away with it, your conscience can “kick in” more or less. You could end up lying to your parents, and getting away with it, and having them believe everything you say and they tell you that they are proud of you. This is right up there with the “I’m very disappointed in you” speech.

19. Matt Greene

Justin Geary

We both agree and disagree with the quote of “When someone lies, someone’s loses” (175). We feel that if someone tells a white lie it will make someone feel more confident or comfortable about themselves but the person who tells the white lie might feel guilty for giving that person a false sense of confidence.

Also if you lie you could lose a friend, job, or even rights. If you lie to a friend they will eventually find out and you will lose their trust. It is hard to stay close with your friends when there is no trust. If you lie to an employer you could lose your job.

We both believe that one’s conscience kicks in once the lie could emotionally or physically harm someone. This is true for most people with good morals. An example of when your conscience kicks in is when you know someone looks bad and they are asking you if they look ok before going out with you. You might say you look fine, but they really look bad, they could become embarrassed in public.

20. Melinda Tipton Kaitlin Hall When it comes to the phrase, “When someone lies, someone loses,” we both agree and disagree with the statement. In certain situations, lying can be a good thing. For example if a wife asks her husband if her butt looks big in a pair of jeans, you know he’s going to say no. This is because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and he’s also protecting himself from getting his head bitten off. So in a way, lying is a way of keeping the peace. In another example, omission is said to be considered lying, but we don’t think it is. Omission is not exactly telling a lie, but it’s not telling the truth either. It’s simply leaving out certain details unless they are brought up. In some ways, you can lose more by telling the truth than by lying. But for the most part, honesty is the best policy. Lying can create a sense of betrayal and it can ruin trust, which is a very important bond in all relationships.

21. Zach Archer and Allison Hower

Who feels guiltier when lying: men or women? We feel that guilt doesn’t depend on the gender or a person but it depends on the person’s character. Both men and women do bad things; everyone makes mistakes it’s just a matter of if they own up to it. How guilty someone feels about what they have done is dependent on the lie they have told. We also consider it lying if someone does something and they do not own up to it. For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you and you find out. You never technically asked them if they had cheated, but they did and did not tell you. We believe that even though they did not lie to you verbally, they lied to you by not telling you. When the conscience kicks in, it is also dependent on what the lie is and the type of person someone is. For example, normally serial killers feel little or no remorse towards their victims. There have been cases of both male and female serial killers so we cannot say that women or men feel more remorse than the other. We also believe that how guilty one feels depends on the lie they have told. For example, telling your child that Santa Claus is real is not as devastating of a lie as killing someone. We would hope that someone who murders another person feels guiltier than a parent lying to their child about Santa. Normally your conscience does not kick in until after the lie has been told or done, whether you get caught or not.

22. Lynsey Bodek Elizabeth Petrozza November 13, 2009 When it comes to lying, the guilt on your conscience varies from person to person. We feel that this has a lot to do with the way you were brought up and how you were told lie. If growing up, you were never punished for giving white lies to your parents; this will eventually affect you in the future years to come and even when you have a family of your own. Lying is never right, but it can sometimes result in a bad relationship between the people you are lying to. Or on the other hand, you may lie and not have bad intentions in your lying. You may just be trying to protect the person from pain but either way they will be hurt in the end. Another thing with lying is how people deal with the guilt that has built up on their conscience. Some people can go for months or even years knowing that they lied to someone and never have it cross their mind again. It’s like they lock it up and throw away the key. On the other hand, some people can only take the guilt for so long, maybe two or three days, until they have to come forth about the lie. We feel that this also has something to do with the way you were brought up. If you grew up learning that telling little lies are okay, what is there to stop you from doing the same?

23. Arthur Weitzel, Trisha Semexan In our group we think that Honesty is always telling the truth no matter what the situation is. Being brutally honest is fine because someone is always not going to agree or like the truth. Your conscience kicks in when you are caught. People are not usually not sorry for lying until they are caught making people wonder if the person is sorry because they were lying or because they were caught lying. Also your conscience goes back to when you were a child and what moral values your parents thought you and what you think is right and wrong. We think that women feel more guilty about lying because after they lie they feel bad about it and there is always something in there head telling them that they did something wrong, almost as if they have a bugger conscience then men. When men lie they are just happy they got away with it and then never worry about it again. Women make lying a big deal where as men don’t really think anything of it. Also women are always thinking what if this or that happens while they are lying and men just want to get it over with and if they get caught they get caught. We think the saying “when someone lies someone looses” is true because if you get caught in a lie the person you are lying to is going to feel hurt and you will lose that persons trust. Also if you do lie and no one finds out eventually the truth will come out and that will make the lie worse than it was initially.

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